Zuraida Jardine on the power of pausing when life feels overwhelming

As South Africa marks Mental Health Awareness Month, Zuraida Jardine joins Anele Mgudlwa and Cindy Poluta on The Anele Podcast: Her & Now to explore why constantly pushing through is not always the same as coping well.

Women are often expected to keep going, even when they are exhausted. They show up for work, take care of their families, manage household responsibilities and make sure everyone around them is okay.

But in the middle of doing everything for everyone else, how often do they stop to ask themselves the same question?

For mental fitness educator and former broadcaster Zuraida Jardine, the ability to keep functioning under pressure should not be confused with being emotionally well.

Speaking to Anele Mgudlwa and Cindy Poluta on "The Anele Podcast: Her & Now", Jardine unpacked the importance of stillness, the power of our thoughts and why learning to pause can help one to respond differently to life's pressures.

Her message is simple: mental fitness is not always about learning to carry more. Sometimes, it is about knowing when to put something down.

Jardine believes that making time for stillness is an important part of looking after our mental well-being, yet it is something many people struggle to do.

“When was the last time you did absolutely nothing?” is the question at the heart of the conversation.

Not watching television while eating, checking WhatsApp over coffee, or mentally working through a to-do list while showering. Just stopping.

For women who are constantly moving between their different responsibilities, even a few minutes without demands can feel unfamiliar.

Jardine's approach challenges the idea that looking after yourself has to involve an elaborate wellness routine. Instead, she encourages people to find small opportunities to step away from the noise and become more aware of what is happening within themselves.

That could mean sitting quietly, taking a shower without a phone, or enjoying a cup of coffee without scrolling through social media.

The point is not necessarily what you do, but whether you allow yourself to be fully present.

Jardine explains that intentional breathing and moments of stillness can help signal safety to the nervous system, allowing the body to move away from a state of sustained alertness.

In a world that constantly demands our attention, doing nothing can be a meaningful way to reconnect with ourselves.

Another important part of Jardine's approach to mental fitness is learning to recognise how our thoughts shape our experiences.

A mistake at work can quickly become a belief that we are not good at our jobs. A difficult conversation can replay in our minds for hours, while somebody else's success can leave us questioning our own progress.

Jardine explains that although we may not always control the first thought that enters our minds, we can learn to direct the second.

The distinction matters because a thought is not necessarily a fact, even when it feels convincing.

When you are under pressure, it can be easy to accept your immediate interpretation of a situation without questioning it. Creating a pause allows a person to examine that thought rather than automatically reacting to it.

Instead of allowing one mistake to define your abilities, for example, you can acknowledge what happened and consider what you can learn from it.

The aim is not to eliminate negative thoughts or pretend that difficult experiences do not affect you. It is to create enough space to choose how you respond.

Jardine's approach is reflected in her BRAVE framework, which stands for Breathe, Reframe, Align, Visualise and Execute.

The framework encourages people to take a breath before reacting, reframe the thoughts influencing their response, align their actions with their values, visualise the outcome they want and take the next constructive step.

Rather than immediately responding from a place of frustration, fear or self-doubt, the process creates an opportunity to consider what is happening and what to do next.

It is a practical reminder that one does not always have to react in the moment.

Sometimes, taking a step back can help you respond with greater clarity, particularly when you feel overwhelmed or pressured to meet other people's expectations.

Why pausing can be difficult for many women

The conversation takes place against the backdrop of the emotional and practical demands many South African women navigate daily.

First for Women's 2026/27 Her & Now Report found that 56.1% of women surveyed said being responsible for keeping the peace and holding their families together fell mainly to them.

Among partnered women with children, 72.6% said the emotional labour of the household fell mainly or mostly to them, compared with just 7.1% who said it fell to their partner.

The report also found that 36% of women surveyed spent five or more hours a day on unpaid domestic and care work.

These figures help illustrate why switching off can be difficult when so many responsibilities continue long after the working day ends.

There are also external pressures that cannot simply be resolved through a change in mindset. The report found that 90.1% of respondents rarely or never felt safe walking alone after dark.

Jardine's message is not that women should breathe through genuine danger or take personal responsibility for circumstances beyond their control. Rather, finding moments of stillness can help create some breathing room amid the demands of everyday life, while safer environments and broader support remain essential.

During the podcast, Mdoda shared that cooking gives her a chance to focus on what is in front of her and temporarily step away from the expectations attached to her different roles.

For others, the reset might be as simple as sitting alone for a few minutes before going inside after work.

The important thing is recognising that time for yourself is not something you should have to earn after everyone else's needs have been met.

Jardine's own journey also reflects the importance of questioning conventional definitions of success.

After building a high-profile broadcasting career, she stepped away to prioritise her family before returning to university in midlife. Her work now centres on mental fitness and human behaviour.

Her experience raises questions worth considering: What does success look like for you? How far have you come? And what are you carrying simply because you believe it is expected of you?

These questions are particularly relevant in a culture that often celebrates women for their ability to manage everything without showing how much it costs them.

Being able to cope is not the same as being okay. Continuing to function does not mean you are not overwhelmed, and being resilient does not mean you should ignore your own needs.

Jardine's conversation offers a reminder that mental fitness is not about becoming so capable that you can shoulder every burden placed before you.

Sometimes, it begins with recognising that you are allowed to pause, reconsider what matters and decide what you no longer need to carry.

Zuraida Jardine features in Episode four of Season 2 of "The Anele Podcast: Her & Now", hosted by Anele Mgudlwa and Cindy Poluta.