‘I am not ready to stop hoping’: Mother seeks answers over missing daughter

Terricia Govender's friend Sashin Maharaj, her mom Linda Govender, and uncle Selva Govender pray at a temple before their search in Nepal two months ago.

Linda Govender says she will continue hoping for the safe return of her daughter Terricia, one of six South Africans reported missing after floods struck the Gyirong border area on 26 August.

She said she is still waiting for answers about her daughter Terricia, one of six South Africans missing after floods struck the Gyirong border area on August 26.

“We are hopeful, but we are also trying to understand the reality of what has happened. I know this is a devastating situation, and I am not blind to that reality,” she said.

Terricia Govender was part of the Isha Foundation’s S3 group, and was at the Gyirong immigration office when the natural disaster occurred.

Over 1,400 people have been confirmed dead, while over 5,600 people remain missing during the floods.  

Five other South African pilgrims - Barika Ramjee, 43, Vivaganathan Pillay, 66, and his wife Janet, 56; and 74-year-old Surendranath Maharaj and his wife Anitha, 67 - also remain missing.

Govender said she was not ready to end the search for her daughter.

“Until we have certainty, and until all possible avenues have been properly explored, how can I, as a mother, simply give up hope?

“It has been 60 days of waking up every morning to the same painful reality. Terricia is still missing.

“I miss her more than words can explain. Every morning, I wake up knowing that nothing has changed. I still have no certainty about Terricia's status, and I have to find the strength to face another day without knowing what tomorrow will bring.”

She said people had been telling her to accept the situation and move on.

“How can we accept anything when we are told by Nepal officials that she is missing? We understand that a search and rescue mission is still active by a private individual. 

“We are hopeful, but we are also trying to understand the reality of what has happened. I know this is a devastating situation, and I am not blind to that reality.

“Until we have certainty, and until all possible avenues have been properly explored, how can I, as a mother, simply give up hope.” 

Govender described the pain she felt as a parent, not knowing if her child was safe or alive.

“Perhaps holding on to that hope is what helps me get through each day. I cannot pretend to know what the outcome will be. I only know that I am not ready to stop hoping for Terricia.

“Every day, I send messages to Terricia on WhatsApp. I write to her as if she can still read my words. I post her photographs and speak about her on social media because I cannot bear the thought of the world forgetting her. In some way, these messages and posts help me keep going. They give me something to do when the helplessness becomes unbearable.

“I am a mother trying to keep her daughter’s name alive while trying to keep myself together.

“And while I am dealing with this pain, I have also found myself having to become an investigator, write emails to officials, seek information, follow up with authorities and try to understand processes that no mother should ever have to navigate under these circumstances.”

Earlier this month, Govender launched an online campaign called Global Voices for the Missing.

She said the campaign was aimed at providing assistance to all families of those who remain missing.

“Building this initiative while living through my own personal heartbreak is exhausting. There are days when I do not know where I find the strength to keep going. Yet I continue, because Terricia matters, and so does every other person who remains missing.

“With political campaigning taking place, it is upsetting to feel that families like ours are still waiting to be heard. I understand that governments have many responsibilities, but families with missing loved ones cannot simply be put on hold,” Govender added.

She said two months may be a period of time on a calendar, but for a mother whose daughter is missing, every day feels different and yet painfully the same.

She said for her, there is no normal routine anymore. 

There is only the effort to get through the day, the need to keep asking questions, and the hope that something may change.

“I do not know how long this journey will take. I do not know what the answers will be. But I know that I cannot simply switch off my hope because time has passed or because people believe I should accept the situation.

“Terricia is my daughter. I miss her. I think about her every day. I will continue speaking her name, sharing her photographs and asking for answers while standing alongside every family whose loved one remains missing,” Govender added.