Matthew Ohlsson’s parents find strength in 40 years of marriage and caring for children

Michelle and Michael Ohlsson celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary

Image: Genevieve Serra The National Media Group

Michael and Michelle Ohlsson, the parents of nine-year-old Matthew Ohlsson, who mysteriously disappeared in Mitchells Plain, have shared how they learnt to live with pain they could not fix while caring for more than 40 foster children over the decades.

The couple, who married in 1986, celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary on Thursday, October 29, surrounded by their children, grandchildren, friends and family, including the foster children they had raised.

Their brightly coloured home symbolised rebirth and new beginnings. The Ohlssons said they had learnt to live without knowing where their son was while sharing lessons from their marriage and lives.

They said Matthew’s disappearance had shaken them, but they had not blamed one another for what happened. Instead, they had learnt to love beyond their pain.

Matthew Ohlsson, nine, has been missing since 1997.

Image: Genevieve Serra The National Media Group

Matthew disappeared on the morning of 24 March 1999 outside the family’s home in Westridge while taking out the dustbin. He was never seen again.

Over the years, the family hired several private investigators. Michelle also wrote a book about his disappearance, titled The Matthew Ohlsson Story: Without a Trace.

The couple also founded the organisation Concerned Parents of Missing Children. Through the organisation, they became a source of support for families of missing children in the Western Cape.

Michelle and Michael Ohlsson celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary.

Image: Genevieve Serra The National Media Group

Michael told guests how he had met Michelle, how they went on to have four children and how they moved between various homes. He said their move to Westridge would become the hardest period for their family.

“Then we moved to Westridge. This was my hardest journey. This is part of our 40-year journey that we have to speak about. Michelle and I experienced something that parents should never have to go through: our son Matthew disappeared.

“It has now been more than 29 years. We had to live without knowing what happened to him. "We cannot erase the pain, and there are questions that remain unanswered.

Michael and Michelle Ohlsson in their younger days.

“There is the wondering and remembering, and there is hope and pain.

“Then there is the part of a parent’s heart that never completely stops waiting.

“Michelle and I had to continue living while carrying something that neither of us could fix.

“I did not mention Matthew tonight to bring sadness to our celebration. I mentioned him because he is my son. I mention him because he is part of these 40 years, he is part of our family and he is part of our story.

“We had to become strong. Sometimes one of us had to carry the other; at other times, neither of us had the strength to carry the other. But I believe that, that time, God carried us.

“The beautiful thing about the journey is that our family did not stop with the children born to us. Over the years, Michelle and I have taken care of more than 40 children.”

He said God had sent a beautiful little boy, Lerenzo Christians, to them when he was an infant in 2006. Lerenzo is now 20, studying law and politics, and remains in their care.

Michael said his love for Michelle had grown deeper over the years as they weathered life’s storms. He also reflected on the day they first met.

Lerenzo Christians, 20, the foster son of the Ohlssons. Here he is pictured with Michelle Ohlsson.

Image: Genevieve Serra The National Media Group

“When you get married, you do not know what to expect. For almost 30 years, we have lived with the loss of Matthew, and it shook us. We fought, pushed through and believed in God.

“Today, people give up. We could have blamed each other when our child disappeared, but we did not. We raised our children.

“And why is it so colourful? It is because children from different cultures came into our lives. The bright ones came in, and we put the darkness away.”

Christians said his parents’ love continued to encourage him as a young man.

“I do not think it ends here. The bond they have formed will last until the day they die.

“Their love for each other, their family members and me convinces me of what love means,” he said.

Jessica van Willingh, who became one of the Ohlssons’ foster children as a teenager, said they still shared a close bond.

“I cannot describe what they have done for me since I was 16. I am 38 now,” she said.

“They have been there for me as parents, and they have never given up on me.”

Patrick Smith said the Ohlssons had continued to love others despite their pain.

Wearing a T-shirt with a photograph of his late wife, Vanessa, on it, he said: “Your hearts did not close; they opened wide. Despite your son being missing, you have shown us what it means to love.